About

John Bridger: How are you?
Charlie Croker: [shrugging] I’m fine.
John Bridger: Fine? You know what “fine” stands for, don’t you?
Charlie Croker: Unfortnately, yeah.
John Bridger: Freaked out…
Charlie Croker: Insecure…
John Bridger: Neurotic
Charlie Croker: And Emotional.
John Bridger: You see those pillars over there?
Charlie Croker: [looks behind him and sees the pillars] What about them?
John Bridger: That’s where they used to string up thieves who felt fine.
Charlie Croker: After you.

– From the opening scene of “The Italian Job”

I’m sure you’ve had a conversation like this with your friends before. Well, maybe you and your friends aren’t world class thieves trying to shake off whatever insecurities you may have before attempting to pull off a huge heist, but you get the sentiment. Every day, people answer with the words “I’m fine” despite the situations they are experiencing and the emotions they are feeling. It’s a good word to use when you want to cover up what’s going on inside of your head, especially when you’re feeling something negative that you don’t want other people to know about. Some people are stupid enough to believe you when you say “I’m fine,” but most people are able to at least sense that something isn’t quite right.

Fine is a state of being that we all try to achieve despite the fact that few of us have concrete ideas about what we really think it means.  On top of that, no two interpretations of fine really match up with each other perfectly because we all have different ideas of what it really means to us. “Fine” could be a state of perfection, contentedness, neutrality, freedom from illness, sanity, sobriety, and a host of other concepts that people have cooked up. Trying to achieve one of these states could lead to happiness, despair, frustration, acceptance, or any of the above. Or more. Or none of those things. Who knows?

And the word itself has many meanings in speech and writing as well. Fine can mean hot because that bitch is fine. It could be a lie between two girlfriends when one is asking how her dress looks, and the other doesn’t have the heart to tell her it looks really awful on her. Fine acts as a temporary mask (or permanent disguise) during a fight between two people who are in some sort of important relationship. Fine keeps people from thinking you’re crazy or weird.

Or fine is just fine, and that’s it. Nothing too complicated.

Either way, I’m exploring the concept from all angles. There are many kinds of forces and industries that capitalize on finding a way to make you feel fine, and I’m here to talk about the ones that I think about on a daily basis. I’m a young lady studying neuroscience hoping to get into medical school and/or research at some point in my life, and I’ve got a taste for makeup, clothes, jewelry, and shoes. I’m also an avid runner that’s getting back into shape, trying to kick a knee injury, and slowly but surely regaining a healthier way of eating. And finally, I’m a person with a strange relationship with anxiety, and I’m figuring out how to work with it instead of constantly fighting it.

Worried about having zero fun here? Don’t! I spend most of my time enjoying myself, and most of my posts will reflect that. Sure, shit might get real for a hot second, but this isn’t meant to be a showcase of my goth poetry from eighth grade (although that would probably fall under the category of “satire” at this point). And even though it would be a hilarious writing experiment, I just don’t think I could write a super serious bit about a lipstick or shoes. For me, life’s about balancing out negative and positive as much possible, and I hope that tickles your fancy.

Like how that sounds? Awesome. See you on the flip side.

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